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[mincingminuet]

Penelope Raban

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[heiroglyphs]

[Nothing greases the lips quite like alcohol.]

Wait, seriously? Like how?

[mincingminuet]

Like. Magic. In my crazy memories, I see myself casting magic spells.

And summoning creatures.

[heiroglyphs]

Summoning? Like... out of the ground or something?

[mincingminuet]

Not...no. Not demons.

[Pen holds up a small green shard of crystal.]

From stones.

[heiroglyphs]

[Vera leans in to take a closer look.]

Must be a pretty tiny creature to come out of that.

[mincingminuet]

No? want to see?

[heiroglyphs]

Wait, see? I thought you said it was a memory. You can actually do that?

[mincingminuet]

[She nods, jangling the crystal.]

Yep. I learned how to do it a month or so ago.

[heiroglyphs]

The fuck, Pen? You can make monsters out of rocks and you waited a whole month to tell me?

That's weird as hell!

[mincingminuet]

I mean, what do you want me to say? "Hey, I can make these weird monsters come to life" ? I've been processing it and trying not to freak out or tell too many people because hell...you think that the government would wanna let me keep it.

Here though.

[That said, she squeezes the stone and murmurs a word. And out comes the Alraune. Right onto the table, a small creature about the size of a large doll, with a sackcloth body and a tomato for a head. It strikes a pose, arms over it's head in a \o/ gesture.]

Just this guy so far. But I've felt like there are others.

[heiroglyphs]

[And Vera TOPPLES BACKWARDS OUT OF HER CHAIR, kicking her legs and pointing at that... thing. It's a miracle she didn't spill her wine, honestly.]

It's that... tomato thing!! I remember you drawing that thing a while ago. Why is it real?!

[mincingminuet]

[Well, it does a little dance now. A happy, hoppy little dance. Hello my baby, hello my honey...

Penelope may have taught it that dance.]

Because it is? I have no idea why it's real. But here it is.

[It chirps finally, and hops down off the table, studying Vera.]

It's called an Alraune.

[heiroglyphs]

[Vera will just scoot backwards on her butt a few feet.]

It has teeth, Pen! Why is it looking at me?

[mincingminuet]

Maybe it thinks you look tasty?

[heiroglyphs]

[AND SCOOTING CLEAR TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM NOW]

That's not funny!!

[mincingminuet]

[The tomato turns around, bends over, and waggles it's backside at her.]

Seriously? He's harmless, Vera. He's the size of a Ken doll and obeys my commands.

[heiroglyphs]

It's still creepy.

[She stands up and dusts herself off, at least. Ahem.]

[mincingminuet]

You get used to him.

[She holds out an arm and he hops up onto it, scurrying up to her shoulder.]

But this is what I an do, apparently.

[heiroglyphs]

Pretty freaky.

[She rejoins Pen at the table, leaning in a little to inspect the freaky tomato monster.]

Does it work with any rock, or just that one?

[mincingminuet]

[The alraune grins, waving at her. Heya!]

It works with auracite. So...rocks like this. If I find another, or get another, I'll see if it lets me do something new.

[heiroglyphs]

Damn. So we couldn't, say, roll a boulder into Retrospec HQ and unleash a giant tomato monster on them.

[At least she can dream.]

[mincingminuet]

Uh. No. The thing is sealed inside the Auracite. So, if you find me a piece of Auracite with a giant tomato, I'll take care of it.

[Next month, though, it'll be time for a Tonberry surprise.]

[heiroglyphs]

I'll dispatch an excavation team immediately. We'll find one eventually.

[She extends one finger towards the alraune, you know, just to see if it's really safe.]

I take it this guy's the only one you've got so far?

[mincingminuet]

[It reaches out one sackcloth arm and pokes her finger back, making a chittering little laugh. Totally safe.]

So far. Maybe I'll find another eventually.

[heiroglyphs]

[You are still a freaky little thing but at least you're not dangerous.]

There's gotta be more, right? Unless tomato monsters are your spirit animal or something.